My constant depression journey is still on. I sometimes feel as so numb to end all my suffering’s which is just going on all in my mind. But in reality are those suffering in real , I wish I could answer. My numbness , my anxiety has so much much increased , I wish I could talk , but with whom and why . Everyday journey of my daily routine has also changed , I don’t talk to people , whenever I talk , I feel angry. I was so talkative person but i have just become me ,so introvert or say coward to face the reality.
What affects our brain , why depression is so underrated to be talked . I pretend to be so happy , but i am not . I pretend to be in peace , but i am not . I pretend to be enjoying my loneliness , but i am not . I pretend to like myself , but i don’t. I pretend to be strong , but i am not.I feel like helping others , but more than that i need help .I consulted psychologist , but it didn’t work out . AM I MAD ? OR AM I LOST?
Everyday i feel like waking up with a hope , but i can’t . I feel like i need to be disappear . Where i am lacking , i have decent job , decent money , decent investment , decent family , good health but still i am not happy .Its not that i need money so i am not happy .No i don’t need money , i don’t need anything .I am not happy with anything . Every small thing is torturing my mind . I tried meditating , but nothing is working out. I don’t know what is wrong with me . life has never been unfair to me , but now i am afraid , its affecting my mind and so as my health.
I Know every person has their battle of depression , but we never openly talk about . They feel afraid from everyone ,that anyone will understand or not .We need to have empathy for such person who is going through such things . They only want to be heard on everyday basis . I am writing the journey of my friend who has been suffering from severe depression . I knew something is wrong with her ,but i was so busy with my work , i never bothered to ask about her personal stuff and i feel ashamed for that . There i was wrong . I feel sometimes we need to keep in our mind that its our moral responsibility to help , we don’t need to go to Himalayas to find the purpose of life .Our main purpose of life should be helping attitude . from past 6 months , i am on daily basis touch with her , she is recovering .I did not advice her anything , i just listened and only my work was to listen and let her cry . When you create a helping attitude , you forget about your problems . Its just a mind game .Every monster is inside the mind .
Pondering in the mind of thoughts,
How many battles you fought,
I wish the battle was in field ,
The colour of life would have shield ,
But there are cracks in the shield of mind ,
Alas the negative light doesnt let it bind ,
She is exposed with cracks and fear ,
She hoped for the end with dry tears .
ITS A EVERDAY STRUGGLE FOR PERSON WHO ARE DEPRESSED.
Trailer of life 